The
home study is "your life story." You will probably
have several interviews with your social worker, both in your home and possibly
in his/her office. The social worker will not be coming into your home to do a
"white glove" inspection. Don't exhaust yourself cleaning and polishing!
If your home is "too perfect", it may be perceived that you will have
trouble adjusting to the clutter that always comes with children. The social worker
will be checking to make sure the child you will adopt will be entering a safe,
healthy home. If he/she notices something of concern, you will be advised and
given plenty of time to make the necessary changes or adjustments.
Tips
when preparing for your Home Study: - Be happy and excited,
but try to relax. Most importantly, be honest!
- Get organized, complete
all necessary paperwork and be prepared for your home study.
- Select
a social worker recommended by Friends In Adoption.
- Get your home
ready for a visitor, but don't exhaust yourself cleaning and polishing.
- Offer the social worker a soft drink or cup of coffee when he/she arrives
in your home. Family photos are a great way for the worker to "get to know"
your family (don't bore him/her with volumes of albums, but some framed photos
will be great.)
- Don't panic ... it is okay to be nervous, this
is important, but try be relaxed and natural. It will be easier for the worker
to know you if you just "be yourselves".

- Don't mislead the worker about any part of your life. (Financial problems,
childhood problems, counseling or psychological history, a bad job experience
or skeletons in your closet.) Your worker will discuss these things with you and
chances are, it won't present a problem if you show how you are currently dealing
with the situation.
- If you have other children in your home, let
them know a social worker is coming for a visit and why. Don't panic if your child
takes this opportunity to "really act up", children do these kinds of
things. Your worker has probably seen it before. However, it may be that your
child just needs more discussion/information about what you are planning to do
and about the up and coming change in your family.
- Rely on your
sense of humor, you will need this throughout the adoption process.
- A
smile, a firm handshake, a joke, a generally warm and friendly demeanor among
yourselves and with the worker, will go a long way.
- Remember the
road to adoption may sometimes be bumpy, but well worth your efforts. Be patient!
The process may seem lengthy, but the rewards are great!
Begin
now preparing yourselves for your home study. This is a time to learn more about
each other and to begin preparing for new roles as parents. All aspects of the
adoption process should be discussed jointly. Each person should have their questions
answered and feel completely comfortable with the answers. This journey will last
a lifetime.... and will bring life's greatest rewards. Children restore our awareness
of the world around us and renew our wonder and amazement.
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Individually
and jointly, you will be led through the story of your lives:
- How were you raised, disciplined, loved and by whom.
- Descriptions
of your family structure, parents, siblings, your birth order.
- Who
was the disciplinarian, the nurturer to you as a child.
- Past and
present relationships with family members is an important part of who you are
today.
- Your education and school life.
- Your current
employment and unemployment history.
- How you met your spouse, a
discussion of your dating relationship.
- Your marriage and current
relationship and your problem solving techniques.
- Previous marriages
will be discussed and the reasons for divorce.
- If you have other
children from your current or a previous marriage, there will be discussions concerning
their feelings.
- If you have adult children from a previous marriage,
they will be interviewed.
- Your home will be viewed for appropriateness
for child rearing, safety issues, fire safety, firearm security/safety.
- Hobbies and interests, leisure time, family and group activities.
- Religion.
- FIA's application.
- Feelings about child
rearing, and discipline.
- Feelings about adoption, adopted children
and the level of openess with which you are comfortable.
- Feelings
about birth parents.
- Preparation for discussing adoption with your
child.
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